Brace yourself, people. You are entering the world of Jackwagons gone wild. Say What? is a series of quotes that I collect as I go about my daily business of deciphering the “news”.
I take no responsibility for any keyboards or monitors you may ruin in the course of reading this column. There is also bound to be NSFW language along the way, consider yourself warned. Be sure to look for link Easter Eggs as you go. Please keep your head and arms inside the ride at all times. Enjoy!
Things They Didn’t Say Edition
This month there were a whole bunch of things a variety of useful idiots said that they claim they didn’t really say… or at least wish we wouldn’t remember they said.
Barack Obama laments that the biggest mistake he made as President was not telling a story:
“When I think about what we’ve done well and what we haven’t done well, the mistake of my first term – couple of years – was thinking that this job was just about getting the policy right. And that’s important. But the nature of this office is also to tell a story to the American people that gives them a sense of unity and purpose and optimism, especially during tough times.”
He’s right, he told us a story before he was elected. We just didn’t read it. Now he’s stuck telling it to little kids and teenagers. He’s the only one qualified to ruin their minds and our country! We know there is one story he won’t tell fast or furiously.
What’s an edition of Say What? without some Joe Biden?
When it comes to consuming news, I’m an insatiable beast. I am an insatiable newspaper reader, and now, of course, electronically, I can even have more opportunity, a bigger diet. –Nancy Pelosi
Terrifying, I know. Democrats are insatiable for one thing only: our money. I think the old girl is losing her mind — She actually thinks Obama has been to Israel since he became President. She’s an insatiable beast for news though!
I had no idea that Debbie Wasserman Schultz was so giving. She’s suggested that the Romney camp needs some big-girl pants.
“You know, this is a campaign for president of the United States. Mitt Romney is running for president of the United States, and he and his campaign leadership need to put their big boy and big girl pants on and defend his record.”
Wait, is she offering us some of hers? They look a bit roomy.
Now we have to get a tad serious.
“I don’t understand why the police officers across this country don’t stand up collectively and say, “We’re going to go on strike. We’re not going to protect you unless you, the public, through your legislature, do what’s required to keep us safe.”
Choice? What’s that? Do as I tell you, peasants!
Yeah, let’s add this to the soda size ban, salt ban, smoking ban and now a push to limit baby formula in NYC Hospitals and force women to breastfeed. Talk about a war on women! At what point are you New Yorker’s going to chase this idiot out of your city?
Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a “THAT’S RAAAAAACIST!” Award this time around.
You guessed correctly if you’re first thought was, “this had to be on
MSNBC”. It was!
Inanimate, everyday objects are now racist. According to the guest, Mark Thompson of Sirius XM’s ‘Make it Plain’, using the term “Kitchen Cabinet” is racist.
“To talk about being in the kitchen and not talk about an African-American actually being in your cabinet is really not a good metaphor to use with African-Americans,”
Well then. We’ve been told. No more mentioning kitchen items of any kind, you racists.
MSNBC, Resist We Much is back. I know, you’re wondering what this comedic genius has said this time.
Well, it’s all about your m0mma.
Mommas! Why not? Obama himself has dragged his kids into the campaign over 5 times just in the last week. Might as well have Momma’s in there too.
“There are people that want to take away our rights, people want to change Medicaid and Medicare,” he continued. “I support and love the president but whatever you do, vote, because this election is not just about Obama, this is about your momma,”
Now, be good little media drones… and look right here: